Passion or Pesong?

I just having a waste of time by online. But the thing is I do it pretty often :p. Something happen while I'm doing such routine in my life. An old pal of mine just tweeted his blog site, with my highly annoying curiosity I said, why don't pay it a tiny bit of my attention. And so I did.

Something he wrote is definitely not inspiring, but I sure did get my attention and making myself wondering about my passion. He wrote that he really wanted to find a life with a spoon-full of passion to live in. Then I said to myself, what a wonderful life that must be. Have a passion that keeps you alive through all the hell that you have to walk in. Then again, this is far from making myself wondering, isn't that kind of life only happen in fairytale? Or maybe same movies?

Maybe I was raised in a traditional kind of family, so everything I ever actually seeing is just your typical old life. Going for education, then some higher education, graduated with a great GPA, have an awesome job, and when you're actually mature enough, you'll start to think about marriage and having a family. But where to put my passion in those old boring routines? When I was younger and (not-so) innocent, I asked my mom once about not being married and all. She replied with a sharp answer that tell me, "There's no way on earth that you'll be allowed not to get married" she said. Then she said more, "What will people think about that kind of lifestyle that you're asking?"

Maybe I hate to admitted, but the thing is sometime I do exactly what my mom told me. I mean yeah, maybe when y'all see me, you all think that I don't give a damn heck about what people will think about me. The truth is, I do. Maybe even more than I could possibly imagine. Sometimes, I think that this thing happen is simply because I was born and bred in a conservative Bataknese family. Though I'm grateful that I am, but sometimes I just kinda hate it. And this is nothing to do with not being proud about my heritage and all (the fact is I am proud).

So as I speak, I do paying so much attention about what people think (but sometimes I choose to not showing it at all). And having my life with something that I really love? Well, like that will ever happen. And if it (miraculously) happen, well there will be so much controversy going on. Drama is a luxury that I'm no longer afford.

If you know what I'm saying.

LOVE



JH.