Monday to Friday

Many thing happen in the last couple months

1. I've finally become an employee.
2. Got some new friends.
3. There's someone intresting in my office.
4. It almost been a month since I go to church.
5. Still longing for boyfriend, but at the same time, nah!
6. I've faced the lowest point of my life and somehow I survived.
7. Ah yes, my brother's in jail.
8. Always wanted to be far away from my family, but I miss em badly.
9. There's an empty soul needs to be filled.
10. I have a new born nephew, Jhon Maxi Gratio Lumban Gaol.

Yes yes, so many thing happen and I'm trying not to complain on bad things and be thankful on good ones.

Ah yeah, the biggest thing happen in the office today. I do my official coming out at the office. And I don't know what to feel. Big step? Yeah I know, still I almost feel numb about it, or is it because I don't make such a big deal of coming out anymore? IDK.

Lately I almost feel nothing, thankful for sure, but nothing else. It's just my life goes 70 in seconds, so I don't have time to slow down to think or feel what's really going on.

Yes, I laugh every now and then, but that's not happiness. I need someone to share so badly, my friends? Somehow, I still manage to contact em, but I need someone to share at 911 moment.

People say that working makes everything seem different, yeah maybe.

Completely Random Things

1. Menyakitkan untuk terus diingatkan bahwa temen gw ga bisa percaya gw seperti sebelumnya.

2. Feels so blessed to be able to finished one of the biggest problem in my whole life.

3. Bingung mau kemana? Mau jadi apa? Dan pertanyaan lanjutan lainnya.

4. New year coming up, what have I done?

5. Pusing dengan rutinitas yabg terlalu menumpuk dan membosankan. Namu tidak memiliki kuasa untuk meninggalkannya.

6. Happy and sad at the same time when I wrote this post.

7. Pengen istirahat, namun terlalu lelah untuk beristirahat.

8. I don't have a chance to get to know him. What a bad luck.

9. Mencari pacar atau teman kencan kilat?

10. So excited to the up coming Pokemon X and Pokemon Y.

How to cool your ass off?

Have you ever heard that when you want to do something good, evil will always find a way to intervene? Well I have, and I'm well aware of it. But some parts of me just wants to explode into this temptation.
Idk when it starts, of even how. All I know is sometimes I almost lost my temper. Many things that make me almost go black, but some how, idk how I've manage to keep my cool.

I also know that it is healthy to keep your anger, but still you can't lose it so easily. So now, I'm stuck with my temper and at the same time still trying to manage it. Maybe I'll be losing mind mind sooner than I expected. Aaargh.

Actually I always trying to find some things to free my head. What I actually do are
1. Playing Pokemon, well it helps me a lot.
2. Browse tons of porn categories, it help to release some steam.
3. Go to omegle and actually found what you've been looking for. For me it was a total random person who really wants to talk.
4. Surround yourself with some comical teens, they are the cheapest live entertainment.
5. And finally your true friends. Somehow they still manage to stay next to you.

A Quater of Century

Most likely, each and almost every year, I post on my blog on my birthday or when my birthday coming up. This year, I'm trying to be out of my ass. Yeah, it has been 2 or 3 weeks, I'm not counting, since my birthday. Things has already gone 80MPH in few seconds. There are some good stuffes a well as bad ones. Well maybe this time, the good don't conquer the bad. But  it still worth to be thankful for.

Well there still good, at least. So in the spirit of 1/4 of a century, I'd like to give thanks.

1. My birthday, it is actually a day that I'm hoping for, an emotional roller coster day. Which is kinda sad but good at the same time. So I'd like to give thanks for my 2410.

2. The way that my friend celebrate my birthday. This is what I love the most. I get to be in the spotlight while everyone have to pay attention to me. Ahhh, loving this glorious moment. (What? Haven't you heard that I'm a self-absorbed bitch?)

3. My father making such a huge effort. Ya kno, my father is always busy out of town lately, and he barely stays at home more than 2 days. But on my birthday (he didn't actually come home and plan a surprise party). He simply called me at 00:03 and wish me a happy birthday. Why this is a big deal? Well y'all need to get to know ma daddy.

4. A gift from my sister. Well my second sister not the oldest. Over the years, she has been spoiling me with so many things, but this is something way better. She gave me cash, a week or two, before my birthday. SUPER DUPER!!

5. My study. So y'all haven't heard? Really? It was the major news, even BBC has already broadcast it. Yes, I finally got my bachelor's degree. After 7 years for not much struggle, I finally won the battle. How àwsome is that? Finishing your study, in less than 2 weeks before yor birthday?

When I think of it, many things happen to me in october. But these are the top five things that I felt so thankful for. So, I can finally say, I have a perfect 1/ 4 of a Century.

Bitch Please!!

1. He blocked me on Line
2. Also in Whatsapp
3. He didn't reply my text
4. He din't answer my calls
5. He unfriended me in facebook
6. He unfollowed as well as block me on twitter

I mean what else he could offer me? A bowl full of joy and delight? A smile every morning?
NONE!!

I know what I'm doing right now is a bit childish, but at least I express what I feel. I'm trying, really I do, to make him happy. But at the end of the day the only thing that can make him happy is his bitter personality. Well lemme tell ya something about being childish....

See I can't, because childish means you, yes you. The whole thing about you is childish. Better check yourself before you pointing finger. And as the part of feeling like a sex toy, well you're not. You're just a, how do we call it? Ah yes,

A PITY FUCK

Well here's my finger pointing at you, middleone.